The Internet is fake: So STOP comparing.

We are way more diverse than what we can show on social media. The problem comes in that you start comparing yourself (good, bad, & uncomfortable) to the perfect versions that others show. The battle here is nowhere near fair. One photography how to video stated on average it takes 20-30 pictures before you can get a family picture were everyone looks okay. 

You are only looking at a snippet of time. That moment in time before their kids throw every toy out of the neatly organized basket or before their dog has ripped up the flower bed flinging dirt everywhere.

I try to be as real as possible, but in this medium- I can think about my words before they are public, I can put filters on my photos, and I know the subject objective I’m trying to portray.

We are all full of messes and beautiful moments. Life is all about improvement and goal setting- so although everyone is trying to sell you something or convince you of something (including me), take what you want from it and leave the rest. You are living your life and you can make it what you want. Nothing on pinterest, facebook, or this blog should take away from your discovery of yourself and the life you would like to create.

Here are some tips to stop comparing:

-Reduce time on social media. It has been clinically proven that the more you are on social media, the more likely you are to be anxious, depressed and self critical. I avoid social media while I’m at home unless I need to do something for one of the projects I’m working on.

-Take and keep pictures that will never be shared on social media. Think of them as private for  just you and your family. This makes a piece of your life your own that is not out there for others approval or disapproval. Sweet moments between the kiddos and my husband, when the kids are asleep, or when we are doing activities around the holidays I tend to keep to myself to treasure.

-Spend time with no electronics. Designate time frames and parts of the house that electronics won’t be used. You can even put a child lock on the internet to disconnect it at a certain time at night. At our house, we don’t do shows in the morning during the week and we designate a day a week with no electronics (other than power and AC, of course).

-If you tend to envy the same aspects about something- make a goal to find your version of this. Do you spend hours looking at gourmet meals you’re not sure you can pull off? Only one way to find out- find a recipe and how to video and go for it. By trying something new and cultivating a new skill, it helps with self worth and life satisfaction.

My Challenge to you: Try one of these tips and make it part of your life routine. Embrace your messy, beautiful, exciting, stressful, amazing life. And don’t forget to show yourself love too.

Happy being your unique you friends!

– Jessie the Therapist

Jessie Shepherd is a Mental Health Counselor and owner of Blue Clover Therapy in Utah. She has a Masters Degree in Mental Health Counseling from the University of Phoenix and a Bachelors degree in Psychology from the University of Utah. Her focus is treating trauma, eating disorders and adjustment issues in adults, adolescents, children and their families. She utilizes Dialectic Behavioral Therapy (DBT), Play Therapy, Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) and Neurological Feedback.

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